Sometimes when I regress, I do wonder if I need a spiritual path or a professional counselling therapy? Sometimes I asked myself, wasn’t Rasulullah salallahu alaihi wasallam’s life filled with love and peace between his brethren and his wives? He salallahu alaihi wasallam was a simple man, he is so loving and merciful, his relationships with others were filled with love and compassion. Oh this heart yearns to be filled with his love and mercy that this broken soul couldn’t find in this world.
And this broken soul is trying to stand on her own two feet.
How all of these can be so exhausting to the mind and the spiritual state. He gave you that opportunity for balance because you are torn in the middle and He doesn’t burden you with more than what you could bear. If a break is needed, it’s fine. As long as you saw His mercy in it, you are still with Him. Why torture yourself from the pain you harbour? But Rumi says if you are irritated with every rub, how will you be polished?
Help yourself and work yourself up. The confidence is in you. Don’t worry, Allah has mercy over all His creations. He will help you. He will be with you wherever you are and he is Ar- Rabb, the one who nurtures you up to your perfected form. If you feel like you are missing out, remember that Shaykh Ahmad Saad said, the best tool for understanding the Quran is life experiences itself.
The ego never wants it. Just leave it. Leave the problems. Leave the nafs. Renounce everything. Shaykh Mouhamadou Mahy Cisse said “people think too much of their problems. They don’t think of Allah. If they think and remember Allah, there is no problem there is only Allah.” And it’s true, we won’t stay together in each other’s presence long enough if it’s not for the sake of Allah ﷻ . Not being able to run away from this, all I see is his ﷺ power that binds us together and reunites us, because no matter what our souls recognizes each other, we yearn for the same thing, and we will surely be tested with every intentions that we make.
With this I would like to share with you guys of a man by the name of Mahmoud Darwish. He was one of the real life diaspora. As a poet and an author, he uses Palestine as a metaphor for the loss of paradise, birth and resurrection, and the anguish of dispossession and exile. He has been described as incarnating and reflecting “the tradition of the political poet in Islam, the man of action whose action is poetry.”
In one of his poetry he says,
“and I ordered my heart to be patient; be neutral, as if you weren’t mine.” – Mahmoud Darwish
As similar as life itself, in dispossessing what we think is ours, deprived of control, in losing and detachment, there’s intimacy with an entity Greater than this world. Rid of the jealousy, we go out to the world with a heart of kindness and unconditional love. With inner strength. With a possibility of a raised station. With the companion of that something Greater. To finally be alone in the alone.
A special language spoken between two spiritual lovers, Rumi and Shams were. How the reed flute yearns to reunite with the reedbed. And how every broken hearts seek to love the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam. How can we write our own poems in our hearts if the world and our problems mattered more.
Indeed, we have to love with integrity of feelings and give with generosity of hands.