Therapist: please tell your friend that sometimes we choose the tough path only because we feel that to achieve important things we have to take the tough path
We feel we need to punish ourselves
Why not choose the easy way out? What is so bad about it?
Especially when we are unprepared for the tough path
Why climb mountains when you are not ready to?
Would you tell this story to your friend? It’s.. it’s important.
Therapist: I’m going to ask you a question.
Have you bought a chair? Have you bought one?
And did you just go into a shop and buy the first chair you saw?
Therapist: Exactly my point.
We look at so many different chairs until we find the right one
Some chairs may be comfortable but look like shit
Others look nice but are hard on the butt
So the process starts, chair after chair..
How many chairs we check out before we find that one chair?
So the point is,
If we look for so many options just to buy a chair
Then shouldn’t we look at options when choosing a life partner?
So.. dirty.. cheap.. fast.. no
Smart, clear, fine.. actually super fine.
Kaira: so the women in my dream who believe that marriage is the only acceptable relationship, I felt dirty because of them
Therapist: See you’ve figured it out yourself. You don’t need anybody’s help
Kaira: But the dangling camera, what does that mean? … just like my future, it’s hanging in the air..!
Therapist: Actually you know what, maybe you should sit on my chair and I should sit from here today
Kaira: it’s so cool. I wish the whole world could hear about your chair theory
Therapist: why is it important for the whole world to hear this?
Kaira: if they understand this chair theory they will stop judging others and what a beautiful world it will be
Therapist: no kaira. When you understand yourself well, then what others think of you doesn’t matter. Not at all.
Kaira: why cycle today?
Therapist: just breaking the pattern
Kaira: yes, should break it
you must be going insane listening to crazy people like me all day inside one room
Therapist: mm. Quite possible
Albert Einstein once said “An insane person is one who does the same thing over and over again and expects different results each time”
Kaira: by the way, Rumi, its over. Broken up
Kaira: can’t do it. It’s too much. He doesn’t fit in my I don’t know I can’t handle it it’s too much
Therapist: what’s too much? Did rumi did something wrong?
Kaira: no we were just wrong for each other. *shivers* not this chair
Therapist: shiver! Only happens when we feel cold or have a fever, or due to weather or sometimes people shiver when they are scared
Kaira: *cycles off* I just want to be free. Free from all of this
Therapist: ya ya. I also want you to be free, free from your fears
Therapist: you know.. as children, when we are sad, our elders tells us not to cry. When we are angry, they tell us ‘give us a smile’. You know why? Just to keep the peace at home. When we wanted to hate they didn’t allow us. So now when we want to love we suddenly find our whole emotional system is topsy-turvy. It cannot function. Sadness, anger, hate, we were not allowed to express anything. So now, how do we express love?
It’s okay to be angry sometimes, even with parents. It’s good, it’s healthy, it’s okay kaira.
Above are a few dialogues from the movie ‘dear zindagi’. The plot centers on a budding cinematographer named Kaira, who is discontented with her life and meets Dr. Jehangir, a free-spirited psychologist who helps her to gain a new perspective on her life.
There were a lot more quotes and conversations in the movie that were great given advice and scenes that were very touching and true, but if I were to type it all out it will be so much longer than this. This movie also shows a lot about the stereotype of those who seek therapy. “When people have a physical illness, they go to the hospital, its fine. But if someone has a mental illness, they don’t talk about it. They see themselves as crazy.” But after the end of her therapy and the beginning of her newfound state, only made possible by her therapist who were like her confidant and life teacher, Kaira grew confident and later became successful in her career. Having killed two birds with one stone, she finally attracted the right man into her life. It left me with so much emotions, making me realize why being a counsellor resonates in me, because in a therapeutic relationship you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you feel all kinds of emotions and you allow intimacy in order to heal. And when true healing takes place, joy towards life can then fill you. As what the character, Dr Jehangir says in the movie “if you can’t cry wholeheartedly, then how will you laugh wholeheartedly” It’s amazing how these movie industries uses their talents to convey important messages such as this. I must say it’s very different from those over the top Bollywood movies where there’s singing and dancing and also filled with dramatic love storyline, this movie is definitely a more down to earth with realistic views. Worth the watch!